Chicago is the Spiderman of cities.

                Chicago is incredible. I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I’m so lucky to live right next to the best city in the world.

                Walking down town every day is an adventure in itself. There is always something going on. I never come home without ridiculous stories. It’s sad to think some people take that for granted.

                There is no sewage smell in Chicago. It’s the smell of champions. If you think Chicago smells bad, go to Las Vegas. Do you know what Las Vegas smells like?

                Well first, let me ask, do you even know what goes on in Las Vegas? Let me tell you, it’s not cool. Las Vegas is like a large, smelly, dirty Wisconsin Dells. Take the family fun aspect away from the Dells, and you’re in Las Vegas.

                LA, everyone is an asshole. That city’s economy is based on people fudging each other over. People will do anything to get ahead. In Chicago, we’re determined but we’d never throw a homie under the bus for our gain. Come on, have some Midwestern consideration, folks.

                New York is dirty! If you want smelly, go there. Did you know they don’t have alleys like sweet little Chicago? Yeah, that’s right friends and family, their trash sits right out on the street you walk on. Do you like seeing rats eat decaying food on the damp street of New York? I don’t.

                So that only leaves one option, Chicago. If you don’t pick Chicago, you might as well go to Lincoln, Nebraska for all I care. That place sucks. So does Union, Michigan. Kids having nothing to do so they party at steak and shake. Don’t even try to say I’m wrong I’ve seen it with my own eyes. It sucks to suck, Union. I’m sorry.

                Vote Chicago for Prez!