I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can...

                When I wear sunglasses I become a model. I can literally feel my nose levitating in the air, because I am obviously just that much cooler than you. It’s okay to be jealous.

                I do tend to stare at people when I’m wearing sunglasses. If I find out that people can see through the dark lenses and see what I’m looking at I’m screwed. That would be so awkward.

                I only stare at people though because I know they’re looking at me like, wow she is so cool. People instantly want to be me, even men. So if they can stare why can’t I?